Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Sometimes I Wish

there wasn’t the Down syndrome label.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not wishing away Down syndrome or even wishing that Chloe didn’t have “it”.  I love her just the way she is.  I truly deeply love her JUST THE WAY SHE IS.  But having this label creates these expectations.  Expectations of her. . . expectations of me. . . just expectations.  I mean I know everyone has expectations put on them, but I just don’t want there to be specific expectations of her BECAUSE she has Down syndrome.  What she’ll learn, HOW she’ll learn, WHO SHE’LL ACTUALLY BE.  And then the expectations on me. . . to be her advocate. . . to help her be the BEST she can be.  I mean I do that for all my kids, but there’s all this pressure with her because of the DOWN SYNDROME.  Sometimes. . . okay, a lot of the time. . . I just want her to be HER.  I don’t want to have to push her all the time.  I want to step back and see who she’s going to be.  I’m not saying I don’t want to provide her with therapies and services that will help her along, but I guess I’m just not one of those hard-core moms that feels I need to PUSH PUSH PUSH so she can reach her maximum potential.  Quite frankly I’m not like that with ANY of my kids.  Now I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with parents who do do that.  I’m just coming to the realization that that’s not me. 

But regardless about how I feel sometimes (a lot of the time), I’ll take the Down syndrome and its label because on the positive side I’ve met the most amazing people IN THE WORLD through this syndrome that my daughter happens to have and I know it gives us some sort of framework to work with when we’re trying to get her help.  I know kids who have “special needs” but don’t have a diagnosis have a much more difficult time, especially managing the school systems.  If the world would just accept people for who they are our “special” kids would really be seen as just that. . . special. . . instead of different or weird.  One can only hope that someday, the world will be more accepting.

Chloe meeting her "cousin" William!  She LOVES HIM!

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